When my children were young, I spent a lot of time scheduling everything. From grocery shopping to meals to after school activities, laundry, transportation for one or another child. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to do everything I wanted for that day. If plan A shifted to a plan B, the undone list was set for the next day. Sometimes I’d fold laundry and wash dishes at 2 am. Being flexible was imperative in my world. However, keeping up with four youngsters, their activities and running the household took its toll on me physically and mentally.

There was a time when I was so tired that I lost interest in stuff that I normally enjoy. I just didn’t care about anything anymore. The more I pushed myself, the deeper I fell. I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology so I’m familiar with symptoms of depression. I went to see a counselor for help. He asked me to describe a typical day. Tears were flowing like a river at the end of this description. After further discussion, he suggested that I was exhausted, not depressed. He advised that I stop vying for a “Supermom” trophy and that I don’t have to do everything myself all the time. It’s OK to ask for help with babysitting and carpooling, etc.

That session made me realize that to be the best I can be for my family, I must be the best I can be for myself. That means scheduling time for me to do something that relaxes me…. something that resembles fun!

I took a Progressive Relaxation course at the local college to begin my self-care journey.

I discovered that, over the years, I enjoyed Irish music and dance. I went ceili (kaley) dancing each Tuesday night at a local Irish Center. I did woodworking projects, calligraphy, jazzercise and progressive relaxation helped me to stay balanced.

My family had to understand that I needed help. The children were assigned age-appropriate household duties. As they grew older, they came to appreciate the time and energy it takes to be a family. Self-care is a lesson I don’t need to learn again.

Since I’ve been practicing progressive relaxation, I’ve been unknowingly slipping into a self-hypnosis trance. Not once did I think that I’d be lost in time and space never to return. Hypnosis is a very natural, relaxing state. I still look forward to that time I make for myself.

When you feel overwhelmed with life and think you may be depressed, perhaps you are only exhausted. Take some ‘me’ time and relax!

Mary Beth Hobson
Certified Hypnotist