Whether you are caring for your family or caring for a disabled or elderly person, taking good care of yourself is just as important for you as for the people that are in your care.

While many people may see self-care as selfishness, the truth is self-care is crucial for a care-giver’s overall well-being. Self-care is especially important because the time and energy that is necessary to provide care for another may result in feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and exhausted. Proper time management is imperative to be in control of your life, to allow time to refresh, recharge and relax.

Remember that stress kills. In my journey caring for four children and my two disabled ones, I used all my time and energy meeting my family’s physical and emotional needs. After years of running myself ragged and neglecting self-care, I collapsed under the pressure. I was dangerously thin, exhausted and burnt out on a physical, mental, spiritual and emotional level.

I allowed guilt and self-neglect to take over my life. I believed that taking time for myself took away from my family. I fell into a pattern of being on the go from early morning until midnight, rocking a sleepless child or catching up with laundry, dishes or mopping floors. I consistently criticized myself for not being smart enough, tough enough, and not being a good mom.
My sister intervened when she saw how thin and worn-out I was. She insisted that I get a check-up. The doctor said if I didn’t reduce this constant stress and take better care of myself, I’d be hospitalized. Remember that stress kills.

I went to a therapist to help me with time management and self-care. We devised ways to reduce stress and schedule time to relax and recharge.

These are 3 action steps I took to recover:

1. Time management – using a calendar to schedule appointments and time for myself.
2. Hypnosis – learning self-hypnosis techniques to reduce stress and build confidence
3. Hobby – enjoying square dancing once a week for exercise and socialization.

One lesson I learned from my experience was that I had to take care of myself to better provide for the people in my care.